August 11, 2013

Crisis talks

I've just returned from my 4 day break from work in conjunction with Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Unlike previous trips back home, this one was a very important one for me and my family. Actually me and my parents.

During my 3 months interning here in Mercedes, I've been widely exposed to colleagues who stress on me getting a degree once I finish my diploma. All this has been conflicting with my original intention to start work and make a living for myself. I know they have their points in that it'll give better chances at better jobs and salary and bablabablababla. I wont deny that. But the fact is my family arent in a stable enough condition to support me going to university. And so I thought why burden them further, right?

So for 3 months my mind has been swirling and blending the issue day and night. Finally when I went back to Sitiawan I got the golden chance to sit down, all 4 of us and talk it out thoroughly. 

And so, after Chong Wei had defeated Du Pengyu in the semis of the Badminton World Championships last night, at about some time past 11pm, I began the long and winding discussion that took 2 hours to conclude. 

Some opinions were divided. Do I do a full time degree? Or do I do full time work and part time study? Mum supports the former, dad puts his on the latter. 

Blunt facts were brought up. Dad couldnt afford my college diploma, what more a university degree? Even if I do get a scholarship, I am not comfortable with the thought of depending on my dad who's already in his 60s. And mum isnt comfortable with me balancing studies and a part time job.

Well, worst come to worst, if it really is too difficult for me to get a degree, at least I can support myself with my diploma. Just that, nobody knows if I can have the stable, secure and comfortable life I want.

Because no matter what our ambitions are, ultimately we all have the universal responsibility of (if we do start) having a family, supporting and providing for them, having kids and making sure they get the education they need. 

I came to realise this before I even set foot into TOC, that my dad had probably cocked-up along the way and make things that much harder for me and my brother.

I also came to discover that, even in a company as big and established as where I'm working, or maybe even in this whole industry, what we earn is rather measly and feeble.

A degree would do much to turn things around and help me avoid doing what my dad has done. But could what my dad have done be too much for a degree in the first place?

I've probably gone off topic there with my thoughts and ramblings. At the end of the night, what my mum had advised me was to just work for a few years, and see if things can be worked out. My dad, well, he just kept quiet.

For sure I'll continue to be bombarded on this topic for some time, but hopefully my mind wont be spinning around because of it, now that this crisis talk has taken place and concluded.

No comments:

Post a Comment