April 28, 2015

A Confession

I find myself sitting at my desk, 10 minutes to 7pm.

Trapped by the horrendous jam wanting to make today's commute a nightmare.

A heavy shower just ended, the dark clouds and wet ground making things all the more gloomy.

The perfect setting for my next post.

I have known C for some 7 years. We've met only twice; the last being more than 2 years ago. I keep in touch with her every week, sometimes more often, sometimes less.

For about a year, I had a soft liking for her. I wasnt deeply head over heels or I-go-crazy-without-her, but yeah I had an attraction towards her. I felt like she was my sanctuary after a long week at work; sharing my ups and downs. I felt comfortable, cozy, and happy. Not to mention, she is absolutely beautiful. Making my heart flutter and melt like butter.

I knew it wouldnt mean anything if we never met and did things together. Time and time again I kept asking her out, to no avail.

She never showed much warmth or care either, or at least to suggest that I had a chance. Nevertheless I persisted, until finally I thoguht to myself "Maybe she's just not interested in you".
It may not have been a shock or a slap in the face, but once that realisation set in, you'd be at least a little let down that your efforts didnt quite bear success.

Last Sunday night, I gathered all my courage and popped the topic to her. I mentioned it in a third person view, saying that I liked 'a girl' when that girl was in fact herself. I didnt want to be too direct and make her uneasy, but eventually she got the message.

And as I had figured, she indeed never had any interest for me. Or anyone else. Her Mr Right just hasnt come along. Surprisingly she took my confession well and wasnt disturbed by it. Maybe because she had taken the hint sometime ago I had a liking for her. After a bit more of heart-to-heart talking, we ended our conversation on a (I guess) positive note. No mess, no awkwardness, no hurt feelings.

Of course, I'd be lying if I said I wasnt dejected. Hopes have been dashed afterall. Efforts have not come to fruition. That I wasnt the Mr Right for this nice, beautiful girl.

I guess my journey will have to continue a little longer.