The Call

Thursday, 4:52pm. My handphone vibrates to an incoming call. An unfamiliar number, which almost never do I receive, and almost always I feel semacam before answering. I answered anyway.

"Hello Deric?"

"Yes speaking?"
"Chang here."
"Chang?"
"Chang ah, PJ."

"PJ?"

"PJ branch, Cycle and Carriage"

And so the plot thickens. There can only be one reason why your former internship company would call you 5 months after you left. Indeed, they've approached me with an offer to rejoin them as a technician. In a heartbeat, my mind was screaming to say yes. But of course thats not how things are done. So I told him I'd consider it. And to help with my considerings, we arranged for a formalities interview which took place this morning.

Formalities interview? Yup. No testing on technical knowledge this time, since I already went through it before my internship. Instead it was more of a sharing session of my current work life and comparing it with C&CB. As the "interview" progressed, hints were dropped of me possibly being placed as a service consultant just like what I'm doing now. 

I've been with ----- for 2 and a half months now, and to be dead frank with whoever is reading, I have not been happy at all working here. Not once have I had a day where I put a genuine smile on my face, but many a nights and mornings I get anxious, racy thoughts and unusual heart beats. Unhappy customers lashing complaints left right and center. Workshop still overflowing with cars, many of them not being touched at all, some of them being mine, and its very not nice knowing no work is being done at all. 

On top of all the various responsibilities we advisors are carrying, feelings of being overwhelmed are getting increasingly noticeable. Besides earning upwards of RM2,000 per month, I dont have much good to say, no matter how positive I try to be. I feel my goal being to just make it through each day more than anything else.

It might be just the stress or the overload, but at times I've wondered if this is the path I actually wanted. And almost all of those times, my answer wasnt a solid yes.

If C&C never called me, who knows what I would want to do next. I can sense sooner or later I'll snap if I carry on. Now that they've come into the picture, that might not be the case.

If they offer me as a technician... well. Taking a step backwards in every aspect from the career headstart I already have, yet going through the vital foundation of this field which I skipped. That's something like going straight for college without SPM/Pre-U/O-levels/whatever. But this foundation which I were to go through might just be what I really need to propel myself towards where I want to be.

If they offer me as a consultant.... well. Maybe the different/hopefully much better work life there will correct my negative thoughts and perhaps show me something much better than what I originally wanted.

I'll be waiting for that call.